7 Tips a Professional Person Should Remember if Caught Masterbating
Every guy remembers a few firsts in his life like his first time seeing a naked woman, his first erection, the first time he masterbated etc…There’s one first, however, that he would love to forget although he just can’t; his first time caught masterbating!
Do you remember the famous scene from “Fast Times at Ridgemont High” when Judge Reinhold is in the bathroom doing the deed and gets interrupted by the girl of his dreams, Phoebe Cates? This famous scene spoke to men around the world. It is iconic because it embodies a man’s worst nightmare, which is to get caught masterbating.
Well, you are not alone with this predicament because according to studies, at any given time over 41% of people have been caught masterbating. Sometimes simply locking the door escapes us, and chaos ensues!
So, here are 8 tips that would help you manage this very awkward situation like a pro, when you’re in the moment, and more importantly, how to deal with the aftermath.
- Now that your genitals are out, you have a slight advantage in this situation because the person that caught you was really not expecting to get such an “eye full”. Thus, they are probably more ashamed and shocked than you are.
- Don’t struggle to cover up your exposed private parts. Make direct eye contact with the person who caught you, own this situation, and be proud!
- Try to read the minds of the people in the room, because maybe you can still keep the fun going and still have your happy ending despite the interruption!
- You can always count on the old “I was stretching out the leather on my new belt” defense.
- Make an excuse about practicing solo on an air guitar that got out of hand. Tell them that your strumming hand got too close to your lap and if a real guitar was there, your fingers would have never touched your private parts.
- If you were caught at work while pulling overtime, literally, then tell your boss that if only you had some time off, you could have done the deed elsewhere.
- If you are in the stock room and someone caught you masterbating, you need to scream “Help! A bottle of glue broke open and spilled all over my lap. Please call 911!” When they go to get help, smear a little on your pants and pretend to be in distress. It may not only save your reputation at work but might even give you employee compensation!
Masterbation is simply sex by yourself. The advantages are avoiding pregnancy, not catching sexually transmitted infections (STI), can be done whenever you please, and often result in more satisfying orgasms. On the other hand, some people still think that masterbation is still perverted, low-class, and downright filthy, which is very sad indeed considering the modern times we live in. What would those people without a girlfriend or boyfriend do in the middle of the night?
There are even some crazy myths about masterbation that still exist. Some used to say that it caused hair to grow on your palms or that you would go blind, or deaf etc…. As a matter of fact, there was a time when those caught masterbating were sent to insane asylums. This is why sex education is very important and for people to not be stuck in the stone age with archaic baseless views on something that is totally natural, fun, and even healthy!